Facebook isn't what you think. And it isn't Facebook that's lying about it. It's you and me. I lived a nice, happy life before Facebook. I'm still happy, but now I have to watch myself with how I view my life since Facebook arrived.
Understand that I love Facebook. What a great tool! But my happiness and existence isn't tied to it - and thank goodness. A lot of it is a lie, and I'm as guilty as you are at some of these.
Here are some of the lies:
Lie #1 - Everyone has a more fun life that you. This is probably the worst one of all. You ever notice how everyone posts pictures of themselves doing awesome stuff? Trips, campouts, events, concerts, parties - all the stuff you missed out on or didn't get invited to. When I didn't know about these events (pre-Facebook days), I never missed them, so I didn't feel like my life was mundane. Well generally speaking, we all have mundane lives. We all work, we all have crappy days, then we party like crazy when we have an extra 3 hours. Just remember this lie that you tell yourself isn't true. Sure, some people travel or party more than you, but your life is just fine. Don't judge it by what you see from others on Facebook.
Lie #2 - A Facebook "Friend" is a real friend. When someone asks how many Facebook friends I have, I think I will start saying "about 10". Being connected on Facebook doesn't mean jack squat. It means one person asked and the other clicked "confirm". That's it. It doesn't mean I trust them. It doesn't mean we hang out a lot. It means we are acquainted in some way. I don't even like some of my Facebook friends. I don't put on a lot of Facebook events, but when I do, not everyone is invited. And why should our feelings get hurt when we're not invited to someone else's activity? If they wanted us there, they would have invited us. Just think of it like this - the only invite worth getting is the in-person or the phone call. Everything else, including texting is "oh, let's just throw them in this long list and see who is interested."
Lie #3 - Everyone is interested in my every moment. Think about it. When someone posts every location they go, every little thing they're doing, every emotion they feel, most of us tune them out. The K-Mart blue light special was effective because it didn't happen every moment all day long. It was once in a while. Your posts should be the same way if you want people to not ignore them.
Lie #4 - We need people to "like" or comment on our status for validation. No you don't. Self-esteem and validation shouldn't come from Facebook comments or likes. I really like it when lots of people comment on one of my posts, and sure - I get a little disappointed if I say something and nobody really says much about it. Face it - we're sometimes posting lame stuff that no one is interested in. Don't believe the lie that we need people to say something about our status for it to be "good".
Lie #5 - If I make comments or "like" something, my friend feels the love. No, if you want a friendship to grow, the least you could do is text or call, or gasp - meet in person. Facebook friendships aren't real. They are a substitute for spending real time building a friendship. Sometimes, we need to disconnect and actually use a phone as a phone, not as yet another way to check Facebook.
Lie #6 - If I don't check Facebook often, I might miss something. It's a big wake-up call when you don't check Facebook for a week and you find that no one missed you and you didn't miss anything. In fact, it's the same people doing and saying the same things, putting up the same pose in every picture. If you don't check it for a week, I would put a lot of money on it that your life is better and your self-esteem is higher.
Lie #7 - Spending a lot of time on Facebook isn't a waste. I would put money on the richest people in America don't spend time on Facebook. I bet that the brightest minds don't spend much time with posting updates. If every time we checked Facebook we'd do 30 crunches and 30 pushups instead, our society wouldn't be so fat. If we spent more time with our families instead of talking to Facebook acquaintances, more kids would have better relationships with their parents, less married adults would reconnect with old flames and cheat on their spouses and more marriages would work better.
There are more lies we tell ourselves, but these are a good start. We can only blame ourselves for believing them, too. Just remember how easy life was before we started lying to ourselves about Facebook.
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