There really is nothing natural about a first date. Generally speaking, you're both trying to put your best foot forward and create a good impression. But shouldn't that set you up for failure? If you show your best self on your first date, you're setting that person up for disappointment as they get to know the real you later. In other words, it's all down hill.
And the date is unnatural. You might try to look different than normal. Maybe you only do your hair nicely for dates. Or maybe you try to be funny when you're not. You're asking the same questions on a first date that you asked the new kid sitting next to you in 3rd grate. "Where are you from? How many in your family? What do you want to be when you grow up? What high school do you want to go to? (lol) Where do you want to live when you get married? What happened to your favorite goldfish Pookie last week?"
Setups are even more difficult. Most people (often myself) treat the setup as a business arrangement, only going on the date because a friend or family member asked you to do it. You don't open up, you can't wait for the end of the date, you give an awkward hug at the end, then drive home anxiously to get back to your "normal" life, marking the date off as if it was an activity to check off of your to-do list.
I think too often that first date becomes like a business meeting. You have an agenda, a set amount of time and a desire to get back to what you really want to be doing - your own thing. What do you get out of business meetings anyway? A little praise, a little scorn, a donut and another assignment? It's a shame we (me) treat first dates that way. I kind of wish I wasn't so jaded about them and could get back to enjoying them for what they should be - fun! Maybe I (you) are just not naive anymore.
I don't have any solutions for this stuff. I frankly hate first dates. I'd like to jump to the third date and skip all the dumb/awkward stuff at the beginning. We're all to blame - men and women. Problem is, I don't know how you can skip first dates, because one always comes before two - at least it did in my grade school. Maybe I will change the way I approach first dates...
